Apples to Oranges
by Keiko Mukisune
Summary: What happens when Bulma's experiment goes wrong? What does Vegeta have to do with this mess? What are the side-effecrs? Read and find out. NON-yaoi
1. Why Not a Monkey?

Apples to Oranges: Why Not a Monkey?

There wasn't much for Bulma to be doing Monday afternoon. Trunks and Bra were at school, Vegeta was in his gravity room, and Bulma didn't feel like hearing the rantings of Chi Chi. She sighed, flipping through the hundereds of channels on her enormous t.v., resigning to watch an out-dated movie about a steryotipical scientist that accidently jumbo-sized his son with a machine ment to turn apples into oranges.

"Please..." Bulma muttered to herself, " a machine like that is simple enough that even Gokuh could put it together..." Her eyebrows furrowed. It was only a moment before she put down the remote and darted towards her lab.

- "There!" Bulma patted her new machine, feeling quite pleased with herself. "This beautiful genus has done it again!"she strutted back to the control table."Now-"

"Woman!" Bulma had been cut off by bellowing of her short-tempered husband.

"What!" She snapped back, her temper equally as short from being called 'woman'.

"The gravity machine is broken again, " Vegeta stoodin the doorway of her lab, arms folded looking as grumpy as usual.

"Vegeta... I'm busy.." eventhough she knew she wasn't.

"Then get un-busy and fix the machine!" he walked into the lab.

"I'll do it a little bit," she turned back to her machine.

"Woman!"

"Don't call me woman!" Bulma slammed her hand on the on the table next to her. Her eyes widened as a beam of light shot from the machine behind the prince. Vegeta in just enough time to see the light hit him. Bulma had to cover her eyes from the flash of light, but when it cleared, the only thing that layed where Vegeta stood was a pile of spandex. "Vegeta!" tears began to build in her eyes.

"Meroooow!" Bulma stooped down and lifted the spandex shirt to reveal a tiny-black cat staring back at her in shock.

"Vegeta...?"

"Merrooow?" The cat took a moment to observe himself before dashing out of the lab, leaving a dumb-struck Bulma behind.

-

"WHAT DID THAT WOMAN DO!" Vegeta's mind screamed as he ran to find a mirror. He found the house to be larger than he remembered as he ran through the winding hallways. He had tried to see himself in the bathroom mirror, but found that he was unable to use his ki. Finally he reached the full length mirror in Bulma's bedroom. Staring back at him wasn't a Saiyan prince, but a fluffy, cute, Kakarot-would-melt-if-he-saw-it, black cat.

Vegeta's howl of rage came out as a simple 'merooooooooow'.

-

Bulma was still gaping over what happened when Vegeta, now a kitty, bounded back into her lab. Even as a cat he was able to pull off a frightening death-glare. When Bulma didn't move to fix the blunder, Vegeta went off in a series of "meow"s which she was certain would have been a string of curse words if he was still in Saiyan form.

Slowly, she turned back to the table, investigating the controls. Vegeta sat stiffly, his tail flicking impaciently behind him.

"The controls are ok... but my machine is out of juice..." Bulma mainly talked to herself, but Vegeta heard. His tail stopped flicking, standing straight up. He gave a drawn out "merrrrrroooooow". Bulma sighed, turning back towards the Saiyan cat, " I made it out of scraps and... what I used to power it was only enough for a couple experiments..."

Vegeta sat even stiffer as veins began to buldge out of his little cat head. He twitch and ran off.

Bulma sighed, not willing to chase after him. "He'll come back when he's hungry...I justwonder why he didn't turn into a monkey..."


	2. When Kakarot Melts

A.N.: Props and thanks to my friend One Azn Dragon for his help with setting everything up! Thank you man!

* * *

Chapter 2: When Kakarot Melts 

"Veeeeeeeegeeeeeeeeeeeetaaaaaaaa!" Gokuh wandered around the Capsule Corp. lawn. "Where aaaaaaaareeeeeeeee yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...?" Gokuh had been looking for the prince for almost a half hour. Of course, Gokuh isn't as dumb as Vegeta thinks, for he had checked the gravity machine first. However, he's not as smart as we would hope, because from there he had no clue where to go and didn't figure out that the his best bet would be inside Capsule Corp. Gokuh had finally rounded back to the Gravity Machine, ready to pout until Vegeta came back out, when he heard a soft "mew." "KITTY!" he scooped up a small black cat sitting in front of the door to Gravity Machine.

"Wow, you're a cute little guy...!" Gokuh observed while the cat hissed and struggled against the Saiyan's might, "Hey, it's ok, I won't hurt you..." he petted the kitty. "...Hmm...You don't have a collar... and you do look like a stray...so you probably don't have an owner!"Gokuh's ever-present smile grew larger. "I'll be your owner wittle guy..!" The cat struggled even more, alternating from gnawing and clawing, and letting out a series of pitiful "meows." Gokuh waited patiently for the cat to "calm down". Vegeta, having worn himself out, bitterly resigned to accept his fate. "That's better...!" Gokuh happily stroked the worn out cat, taking off for home.

* * *

"Ow..! Hey you don't have to claw so hard!" Gokuh pried the cat off his shoulder, "I won't let you fall, promise!" Vegeta dug his new claws into Gokuh's hand, not trusting in his words for a single second. "Ow..." his eyes watered as Vegeta began to draw blood. Gokuh replaced the cat to his shoulder, finding that the cat's claws hurt less there than on his hand.

* * *

"Chi-Chi! ...Chi-Chi...?" Gokuh landed gracefully out of the sky. The cat on his shoulder relaxed his grip and sat up regally, well, as regally as one can get, on Gokuh's shoulder. Gokuh circled around his house, "Chi-Chi...? Chi-Chi!" Gokuh found Chi-Chi scrubbing clothes against a washboard in the back yard. 

"What is it Gokuh…" Chi-chi sounded agitated as normal.

"Well… I went over to Vegeta's house….and… he wasn't there…. But… there was this cat, see…. And it looked like a stray so-"

"Gokuh! You know we can't afford a pet!" Chi-chi looked up from her wash for the first time sincehe had been there. "It's enough work to feed and clean up after you, Gohan, and Goten! I'm not going to take care of some stray cat on top of all that!"

"But Chi-chi….!"

"No!"

"But look how cute he is!" Gokuh shoved Vegeta nose to nose with Chi-chi.

"No Gokuh!" she tried to return to her work even though she did think that cat was oddly cute.

"But I'll take care of him! I promise….!" Gokuh pleaded.  
"Gokuh!"

"PLEEEEEAAAAASE!"

" FINE!" she slammed the laundry against the washboard, wanting Gokuh to stop whinning, "But the minute, I mean the very minute, that cat messes anything up in my house, he's out of here!" Gokuh squealed in delight, hugging his wife before he ran off with his new friend.

* * *

'The next time I have to be that close to Kakarot's wife, I'll puke!" Vegeta's thoughts ran on bitter tangents as he rode on Gokuh's shoulder. He inwardly groaned as Gokuh rambled about the many "fun" things they would do together. He let his thoughts wander, allowing Gokuh's words to do nothing more but buzz around his small black, pointed ears.

Vegeta snapped back to reality, feeling a caliaced palm patting him on the head. "We need to get you a name...!" Gokuh continued to pet his kitty.

'oh no... oh no no no no no...' Vegeta's eyes grew large as he sank down low on Gokuh's shoulder. The tall Saiyan lifted Vegeta off of his shoulder and gingerly placed him on the ground in front of him. The Saiyan crouched down to take a good look at the cat. 'Maybe if I distract him I could get away... no... wait! Blast it! He has that annoying "instant transmission,"' Vegeta inwardly mocked.

"How about Fluffy...?" Gokuh listed to most obvious name and Vegeta hissed at him. "How about Blacky..." Vegeta meowed in an oddly deathly way. Gokuh sat down cross-legged, with his elbows on his knees, and one had under his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he studied his cat to find that perfect name.

"Buster!" Gokun exclaimed with triumph. "Your name isBuster"

'I almost like it...' Vegeta smirked as he being placed on Gokuh's shoulder again. 'I'm Buster. I bust Kakarot's face...' Vegeta's face streched into a full grin, bearing his fangs manically, riding off to where ever Gokuh pleased to take him.


	3. Soap and Eggrolls

Gokuh took the small cat from his sholder and held him up in the air, "The first order of buisness is a bath! You stink!"

The poor cat's eyes grew wide with horror, then narrowed with anger, 'I do not stink, Kakarot. You smell worse than I ever will.'

"Phew. You really do smell..." Gokuh marched to the kitchen sink with the struggling cat in his hands. The tall saiyan placed Buster gently on the counter, scanned the kitchen twice over before looking back at the cat with it's long fluffy tail flicking inpaciently and his eyes glaring at Gokuh. "Wow... maybe I should've named you Vegeta... that's what he would do..." The sick irony made Vegeta sigh. "We don't have any proper kitty shampoo... but I don't think Chi-Chi will mind if I use a little bit of her dish soap.." Gokuh began to fill the sink with water, pouring almost the whole bottle of dish soap into the "bath".

'He's going to wash me like a dish!' With that thought, Vegeta bolted off the counter, weaving his way through pots, pans, food, and everything else a kitchen counter could hold. He made a flying leap over the edge only to fall short and land flat on his face.

"Kitty!" Gokuh screached at the sound of the thud, spinning on his heels to save his cat.

Vegeta's groan came out as a soft meow. 'Curse that idiot and the very loins he came from...' He felt himself being lifted up off the ground, carried for a moment, then dropped back into the relatively-cold water. His face flop off the counter wore Vegeta out enough forsake any further attempts at escape, at least for today.

* * *

"Now you're all squeaky clean!" Gokuh held up his little black cat by his front paws. "Hey... you have a little white spot on your chest...

'Huh..' Vegeta looked down at himself and blinked.. 'where did that come from..'

Before he knew it, the Saiyan-cat was tossed into the air and caught one-handed by Gokuh, " Come-on Buster it's time to get you something to eat!"

* * *

Gokuh stared wide-eyed, mouth agape at the tiny, fluffy cat sitting contently before him in the up most regal manner. Gokuh looked at the remnants of food on the counter. Buster had eaten everything under the sun, in other words, everything in Gokuh's kitchen. Containers that once held glorious portions of fish, chicken, veal, beef, and egg-rollls had been stripped clean and left by the sink for Gokuh's loving wife to take care off. The trashbin over-flowed with cans emptied of their fruits and vegetables."Chi-Chi won't like this...," Gokuh murmured. 


	4. Rage of a Harpy and Mice

Author: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! Sorry it took so long to get chapter 3 up! I kinda forgot about this fic until the owner of my inspiration came over. See, the story behind this is that my best friend has a cat named Buster that I call Vegeta. He acts as I believe Vegeta would if he were a cat. From that we got the premis for this fic! With that said, enjoy chapter 4!

* * *

"Gokuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!"

Gokuh heard the belowing of his wife from his hiding spot in the woods near his home. Clutching his precious cat, he peered out from behind the trees just in time to see Chi-chi dash out of the house to search out side from her husband and his abomination. He put his back against the trees, hoping to stay hidden long enough for Chi-Chi's rage to subdue itself.

"There you are!" Chi-Chi looked down at the startled face of her husband. "You are in trouble mister!" she grabbed her husband's ears and proceeded to drag him back to the house. "Not only did you eat all the food, but you left me a mess to clean up! You're going to clean up the kitchen then buy more-"

"But Chi-Chi," Gokuh interrupted, "I didn't eat all that food, Buster did!" he pointed to the cat.

Letting go of Gokuh's ear, Chi-Chi spun around, facing him. "There is no way a cat could have eaten all that food!"

"But he did, honest!"

"Gokuh, you are such a liar!" Chi continued to drag her husband into the house.

Vegeta's tail swished back and forth as he watched Gokuh clean the kitchen, with his wife supervising of course. His chuckles came out as soft meows. His tail ceased to move and he crouched low when the tall saiyan finished and headed his way. With a low "merow" Vegeta was lifted up.

"Ok Buster, I have to go and get some stuff or Chi-Chi will get angry at me. Now be a good kitty while I'm gone... ok...?" Gokuh gave a nervous smile. He gave a sigh of relief as he watched his cat find a cushie spot on the couch and curl up for a nap.

'You're lucky I'm tired Kakarot.. be warned.. I will wreak havoc upon you.. and your household..,' Vegeta thought as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Bulma sat at her kitchen table waiting. Waiting for Trunks to come home, waiting for Bra to come home, but most importantly, waiting for Vegeta to come home. She bit her lip, thinking of the places her husband could have ran off to. "For all I know he could've ran across town and been found by some bratty kid!" She folded her arms on top of the table and plopped her chin down on them, imagining the cat form of her husband being forced to wear little clothes and go to some little girl's tea party with a bunch of stuff animals, him losing his temper, ripping up the animals and scratching the girl then being kicked out by the child's parents then ending up cold, tired, and hungry on the streets- "I have to stop this!" Bulma stood up and turned around to leave, running into Trunks. She stumbled back into the table and her son smirked at his mother's surprise. Recomposing herself, she said, "Come on, we're going to find your father..!"

Trunks could only get out a "huh?" before being dragged away.

* * *

WHACK! Vegeta collided with the floor. He bolted up, spun around and looked, giving his cat-a-fied death glare straight at a smiling Gokuh. Vegeta hissed as his archrival came closer. He jumped to side when Gokuh bent down to get something.

Vegeta stared in utter disbelief at the object held in front of him.

"Come on kitty, let's play!" Gokuh held out a felt mouse tied to a string.

'I don't want to _play, _Kakarot..' he curled up to go back to sleep.

"Buster…" Gokuh hung the toy in front of the cat's nose.

'No!' Vegeta turned himself away from the toy.

"Come on Kitty, come get the mouse…"

Gokuh continued to try and entice the cat into playing with the mouse and Vegeta continued to resist and resume his nap. Finally, jumping to his feet out of frustration Vegeta merowed, 'For the last time, I will not play with… you…' his eyes began to follow the movement of the felt mouse. 'Stop.. moving that mouse…' His eyes narrowed and he lunged at the toy. 'I command that you come here!'

Gokuh stood up, swinging the mouse in front of Buster. Buster jumped for the toy, his arms reaching out for it. "Opps, you missed!" Gokuh pulled the mouse out of reach and continued the game of keep away.

Frustrated at the not having the mouse and at Gokuh's giggles, Vegeta sat on the carpet, contemplating his next method of attack. He calculate the velocity of the each swing, working out at exactly what moment the mouse will reach the lowest point in its swing. Then, he figured out his own speed and at which moment he should jump. 'No matter what.. I will catch that _thing,_ mutilate it, and then eat it. And I will have conquered!' he resolved with triumph. '3..2…1..now!' Vegeta launched himself forward, grabbing onto the mouse before Gokuh could pull it away. His weight broke the string and he made a thud hitting the ground. He ignored Gokuh's "hey!" and ripped at the felt, devouring bits of fabric and stuffing. Finishing, he paused for a moment,realizing what he just did, and turned towards a confused Gokuh. He strolled up, climbed up his knee, to his shoulder and gave him the cat equivalent of a punch. 'Don't ever make me do that again..' he returned to his napping spot.

* * *

Author: Ok, this chapter was kinda rough in my opinion but not much I can do about it… . >. ; 


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